Clarity and Joy for the Unknown Ahead: Closing 2019 and the Decade

I was taught to believe that the decade will end with a slower, smoother pace towards building surer and steadier foundations for the decade to come.

However,

"How was everything pulled-off the way they were this year?"

"I still cannot believe this and that happened this year!"

are the phrases that still ring through my mind until today. Although it is true that the year started simply, it did not stay that way. Similarly, the way 2019 has been runs a similar pattern with how 2010-2019 have been. 

January - April 2019 / 2010-2012: WAIT-Building the basics is investing on the foundations.

It is noteworthy to reckon that both the decade and the year started with the only intention of 'building' or 'investing.' These are the times where we labor for what is not seen, for eventual possibilities we often hope and work hard for. Though in the process, I have been questioned this year whether it is still worth investing and building my credentials and experience, I would always respond by saying, 

"These will be worth-it all."

I think I have mentioned in times past that whenever God opens a door of opportunity or even allows the door of hard knocks to come in our lives, it is never a moment of waste. I am exceedingly grateful for the mercy and the grace that He has sent me by allowing me to engage in and with the various educational and ministerial platforms which serve as exposures and opportunities to exalt Him and the purpose He has given me. I think it is wise not to let opportunities like that pass by. These are add-ons in the journey that build, fortify, and lay the foundations that would help you in your future decision-makings.

Similarly, 2010-2012 were the years where the Lord laid the foundation for where I am today. Graduating from college, taking up Education, finding and knowing the right university for my undergraduate studies on one hand, while exposing myself deeply in every aspect of church ministry as much as possible, while I was given sufficient time, energy, and burden to serve therein, are twin thrusts I would never regret pursuing. 

"Basics of Life" as they say, but having a comprehensive foundation does matter. These may be what we think as the "waiting game" or the "waiting times" of our lives, but really, looking back, be it 11 months ago or 9 years ago, I can say that this is the form of investment that we can all have. So,

"BUILD. BUILD. BUILD.
INVEST. INVEST. INVEST.For the Unknown."

May - September 2019 / 2013-2016: WANDER-Admitting one's mistakes is heeding to rightful choices.

Well, building the foundations is pretty much BASIC. But "what is next?" And here lies the challenge. But before anything else, let me spill the secret of this phase.

This is the phase where people, including Christians, are mostly afraid of. Well, apparently, I have observed in my own phase and in others as well that this is the season God's children stop and step backwards (instead of just resting and taking a pause). Stagnation begins and swells until spiritual growth is haltered and hindered.

If we would look back, 6 years ago, even my former writings herein will give us hints that something went wrong. And I will always admit that something did go terribly wrong. Because after all, I have not yet attained. 2013-2016 were 4 years that were filled with a variety of options, choices, decisions, and roads to take. They came in different shapes, hues, figures, names, scents, textures, etc. And of course, not all of my choices were in accordance to what God says or what He wants. That is why the crooked roads exist, that is why I had trouble making decisions that I would not regret, that is why I had so much existential crisis during my young adulthood years--because I MADE MISTAKES. 

And to be honest, this is what Christians are afraid of. They are not afraid of making mistakes (because they keep on making them). Christians are afraid of ADMITTING THEM. Sadly, I have noticed that Christians are afraid of showing their flaws, imperfections, failures, and mistakes, mostly due to the fear of being rejected inside the Christian 'circle.' I was once there too. I was once trapped in the man-made (or Devil-made I should bravely say) ideology that one has to 'act perfect' and 'stay inside the church' to be considered as Godly. You know, this connotation that by isolating oneself from the world, you will acquire halos and wings and a VIP experience to the heavens. But hey, STOP THIS MISINFORMATION. You, we all are missing the point of why Christ came and saved us. Often Christians forget that the Lord has also forgiven their future mistakes. This ultimately signifies that we will be making mistakes. And we do, so denying their existence does not actually make us a better or more matured Christian (rather it makes us the opposite, I should bravely say). Furthermore, God's Word tells us that we, in this mortality, can never be isolated from the world. We are not called to be isolated, either. Rather, He calls us to remain insulated. Although yes, God has called us to separate ourselves from the unclean, to be holy, to go and sin no more, but these all actually mean that we should confess our sins to Him whenever we make mistakes, and to strive to, by His grace, power, and strength, overcome our weaknesses and frailties, so that we would no longer commit the same mistakes. That is what the Lord meant when He tells His children to be separated--to come clean, not to 'act' clean. To humble ourselves, not to esteem ourselves highly and belittle those whom we think 'sins worse than us.' To repent and change our ways, not to stay in it and just pretend or deny that it did not happen. Admission and confession of our mistakes are true proofs of humility, and the first acts towards genuine repentance. I also believe that it gives more grace, and a better perspective towards reaping the consequences for that mistake, owing responsibility to it, and reaching out to others who might be facing the same weaknesses.

Well, going back, I am grateful that the Lord is not a stranger to my struggles and yours. Though He never sinned, yet at all points He was tempted and tried. Thus, He knows exactly what and how it feels to be there. But more than that, because He never sinned, He is the Ultimate Overcomer of all sin and frailty. Thus, by coming close and near to Him, He can and will show His children the path and way to escape and conquer. Looking back at those dark and dreadful years, I almost lost hope and the will to live. I got physically, mentally, and emotionally unwell, nevertheless His grace remained as the only Light shining through my fears and tears.

That is where I realized that my past is not something He will simply throw away and waste. Rather it remains to be a valuable memory, I can always remember whenever I needed to be reminded, or whenever someone else needs the reminding. 

Similarly, May to September were the months of crucial distress, mostly about my future, and about the seemingly unending quest to stability. In these months, I have heard a hundred voices, each saying a different path to take. I have been offered a hundred choices, each pointing to a different direction to tread on. However, each of those potential decision, had a similar waterloo--lack of ownership, accountability, originality and uniqueness. They are simply not my own, not for me, not meant nor created for me. They are not His choice, nor His voice. And as I have learned way back, listening to another voice other than the Lord's ends up in regret. Allowing another other than the Lord to influence or direct your choices wallows up in resentment and grudge. Admitting my mistakes of yesteryears truly enabled me to objectively recall and reflect what that season showed and taught me. One of the priceless lessons from those years was never allowing oneself to be associated with anything or anyone that is not of the Lord's.

So what do we do, in a world filled with entitled, opinionated, trying to be 'know-it-all' individuals (be it an unbeliever or even a believer)? 

HEED NOT. 

Because in the Bible, when it says, "take heed," it is always 

heeding to the Lord's voice, ways, and words instead.

October - December 2019 / 2017-2019: WEATHER to WONDER-Braving the decision is owning the path He has made.

Here we are, and to tell you frankly, 2017-2019/October - December 2019 are the years/months that are truly worth the wait. Yet they did not come without struggle. Even until the last moment, the enemy, by all means, will try to snatch away what has been Divinely prepared for you. It is true that oftentimes, the very moment that you most likely would want to give up is just a few hours, days, and weeks away from the moment of long-lasting breakthroughs. 

Heeding to the voice of God is a decision characterized by both faith and bravery. It is inclusive of weathering the setbacks and challenges that come with it. Similar with the decision of surrendering myself to Bible education is the choice of surrendering my profession to His hands instead, right when He told me to move out from where I was and where I used to be, into the place where He wants me to be. And so, like Abraham and others who immediately moved out into the unknown by faith, so did I. 

Lo and behold, 

the Lord did not only take me to a higher, better, brighter place, He ultimately brought me to a stabler version of myself. He has rescued and has carried me from where I felt lost, aimless, and uncertain, bothered by hundred voices, right into the path He wants me to take and own and journey with Him. 

Until today, I am awestruck in the wonder of His working, of His doing, of His moving. Clarity rises and joy abounds, truly when we have learned to leap onto His will, not ours, not others'. Tremendous serenity and tranquility, together with holistic healing and recovery pervade, once we have chosen to rest in His arms as He lifts us up from the mess, above the noises and the chaos below us. 

Do I deserve these? Do we deserve these, even as His children? No. But the extent of His grace and love does reach farther than what we imagined. Indeed, this is what He meant about giving life more abundantly, and we ought to give Him all the glory for all the wonder and we He brings. 

So yes, I am ending the decade with countless testimonies of how the Lord has redeemed and vindicated me from falsified opinions, views, and voices of people, of how He has rescued me from miry pits of my frailties and failures, of how He has carried me again and again into brighter 'unknowns' that only He knows. And that is enough to carry me for the next decade. 

Indeed, in the span of a decade, I have realized that what the Lord does and what He gives to His children's life are but manifold joys, and as the song goes, those joys are 

"enough to last through all the years, to shine through all the tears."

The Christian life is a journey of trusting and thriving, hiding and hustling, resting and running in the Lord. 

As the year and decade end, may we find clarity and confidence in the joy and comfort that the Lord Himself only offers. May we find stability and sufficiency in the path and process that He has carved for us to walk in. And ultimately, may we find the peace and the joy to start a new year, a new decade, with His purpose engraved in our hearts, as 'silk-made' visionaries carrying His vision. 

To God be the glory for His wondrous works this 2019 and for the past decade!