2017: To Live Right, Live Light

This is not about how 2017 has been for me; this is about how God has been in my life this 2017.

It’s the end of the year again, and whew, 2017 surely has been a swift one.
And perhaps, the most life-changing one.

            Whereas I used to compare the former years to roller coaster rides, I’ll compare 2017 with a ride in the waves, since this is also the year where I first sailed and oared a kayak. I now understand how the waves of the sea are almost one with the waves that this year brought to my life. Never did I realize in my entire kayak and beach experience that every lesson I had to learn this 2017 could be found in the seas, including how to #LiveRightLiveLight.

1. Waves slam rocks and shores:

            I remember ending 2017 with the phrase, “It will be well with my soul.” I’ve accepted that whatever God may do in my life this coming 2017, I’ll bravely and gladly accept. Indeed, my planners were blank, and I had no plans whatsoever other than relocating to a new workplace.

            So with that, I welcomed 2017 with arms wide opened, however with eyes closed. Honestly, I had a lot of fears—fears on losing things I held on for so long—and that in itself was enough for me to keep my eyes shut as the year entered and persisted. Nevertheless, God always has a better plan, and I had to swallow that truth by faith, no matter how unlikely my finite mind could see that happening.

            For the first three months of 2017, I saw the end. The real ‘end’, a ‘dead end,’ to be more specific. The lifelessness inside me grew, and the search for ‘purpose’ and ‘direction’ haunted me from every quiet night, to every busy moment I had at work. I saw the things were no longer working for the better, but for the worse, and I knew that God wanted me to cut them out of my life.

            “It is well with you soul, right?” This was His whisper, “then why can’t you let go?”

            “I love it (my life back then) too much. I just can’t. I can’t picture my life away from it,” I answered.

            “Lovest thou Me more than that?” He asked.

            My replies were tears and sighs combined.

            Only until Youth Camp 2017 did I finally know why – YES! God had a purpose, a direction, a place for me in this lifetime. I could not exhaust this anymore, I’ve written two articles on this and it’s also here in my blog.

            In a nutshell, I saw my ‘past’ touching the end—like waves touching the shore, or slamming into the cliff or rocks. I literally saw it ‘snap’ before my eyes—like a knot that was broken and set free. I was that knot. I was tied to every wrong purpose, every wrong direction, and every wrong place. I am just grateful that God severed that knot, and allowed me to be free, because I am, free indeed through Him. Whenever waves reach their end, we always find a new one coming, and in my life during April – May 2017, although I did not exactly know how it will appear, one thing is sure—new beginnings were on their way to meet me.

Ends find their end, and hope springs anew.

2. The sun still shines beneath the sea:

            I turned 22, and I finally enrolled in Bible College, as well as in my Graduate Studies. Well, pursuing those two simultaneously have caused some noise around me, and almost rocked me off my balance. I’ll be very honest now – Bible College, as early as my first month, pushed me to the abyss of deep waters. I almost drowned—not by theological facts, but really because of diverse people, of diverse cultures, of diverse walks of life, with their eyes seemingly against mine. Tables were turned—just like how boats are being turned upside down by harsh winds, and I fell into the sea, almost into the deep.

            When I studied how to swim, I remember that my instructor taught me that whenever I feel like drowning, one of the first things I have to do is to refrain from panicking, to float, and to open my eyes so I’d know if I’ve already reached the top of the sea, and by then get some air and breathe. What really helped me in times where I’ve fallen short of air whenever I swim is to look up because I can always see the light above the sea. It reminds me of my direction, my purpose, my function or my place amidst a huge body of water.

            Surely, fears flooded my mind and my heart as judgments filled with error and confusion poured down.

“Do I really have a place in the ministry, after all?” I asked.

“Where’s your faith? In them? Or in the One who called you?” He answered this, as He has proven my fears and my doubts wrong, for He has continued to use me in various ways the world did not imagine nor did they comprehend. God, being my Light, constantly reminded me of His purpose, His direction, His place for me amidst a world of doubters and skeptics.

Undeserved—all of it—yet I am forever grateful—and it all belongs to Him.

It is indeed true that people in the ministry, due to the old sinful nature, will continuously fail, as the disciples, at one point, failed the infallible Christ. Thus, it is also but right to say that the ministry, is not about becoming ‘the perfect, popular, widely-acclaimed and applauded ‘Godly’ servant’, but the ‘servant who ‘fully yet simply’ loves, trusts, and lives for his/her perfect Lord and Saviour, nothing more, nothing less.’

God has already set the standards on what being a true servant is – and it has never been about how many people we’ve stepped on just to be on the limelight – it has always been how clear and pure our hearts are whenever we live, whenever we serve Him.

Faith breathes amidst flooded fears.

3. To see the light under the sea is a chance to rise above the waves and breathe:

            The Lord never left me empty-handed. He has proven me this fact as early as 2015, but more so did He prove me this truth as August – October 2017 came. True enough, answering God’s call is monumental—it is a propelling force that drives me to swim upward to the light. And yet, thankfully, it is during those moments of courageously swimming upward did God show me that I am never alone in this voyage of faith. God has used a few people (new and old), circumstances and events (like getting a flat 1.00, making it to the Honor Roll, your essay making it to the 3’rd place, your former students, graduate school classmates and professors remembering your testimony and faith), to confirm one thing: THIS PATH IS RIGHT. You’re walking/swimming in the Light. You have every reason to live.

            I only had to make that choice, by faith. I had to choose Him, by faith. I had to choose this, by faith.

            At the end, I have realized that ‘living right and living light’ is not something that would automatically come to a believer’s life. It is a conscious choice we make every day. We do not just #LiveRightLiveLight, we #ChooseRightChooseLightChooseLife. We only live satisfactorily when we choose God’s choice and call for us. We only get to breathe a bunch of fresh air when we choose to rise among the waves that try to drown us.

Choosing the rightful path is choosing the light. Choosing the light means choosing life.

            As 2017 ends, I have finally learned that in the Christian life, battles are not for us to fight them, currents are not for us to swim against them. They are to be surrendered to the One who fights from victory unto victory, to the One to whom the end and the beginning of the battle belongs to. Raising the white flag means allowing God to win the battles for us. He only wants us to have faith in who He is and what He can do. He only wants us to be armored and geared with His armor, yet give the battle to Him.

            I’ve seen it. When we fight our battles on our own strength and might – the flesh arises and tries to overcome evil with evil. God, however commanded us to overcome evil with good. Rise above the waves of life, stay afloat and above them. Let go, have faith in God and let and let Him overcome evil by who He is (He is always good). Trusting His character is what makes us restored and empowered, I’ve also written much about this too in this blog, and it is by trusting the path that He has set for us, and trusting His very heart – that will make us successful in this voyage. This has become my anthem for 2018 and the years to come: "Trust the Path, Trust His Heart"

2017 might have been about endings, turning tables, and shifting tides. However with God, 2017 has been about Him, turning the tides and the tables for brighter beginnings, under the right path of light.