He plunged me to victory....

It took much of His grace to keep me here, and now because of Him, I feel more than victorious. 


Almost a month from the day He started to change me for the better, He is still changing me. And now I came to the point of realization of why that valley was there. 


That valley was to make my eyes fixed on Him. It was to draw me closer to Him more than ever. It was to show how much He has changed me through the years, through the past mistakes that I would never want to experience again. That valley was to reveal my motives, my intentions, and how it could easily be made impure. That's why I'm thankful, for all the pain, the hurt, the tears, that even if it seemed that I didn't deserve them, yet it brought and lead me to Him, only to know that He is still working on me. 

For the first time in my life, I finally learned to appreciate "sorrows". They are by far indeed the greatest teachers in life. They taught me that God doesn't use them to break me, but to make me even a stronger, better child of Him. It also proved how unshakeable is the true joy and true peace that He gives. Though there were restless nights, even days where sometimes pretense was needed to show the world that everything is okay, yet those are just proofs of how easy our hearts and minds could be distracted and be away from God. It shows that we're still nothing but fallible human beings. But I thank God that this time, having this intimate relationship back also made the conviction of the Holy Spirit even stronger and louder, and by His grace, I became more yielding to Him.

Imagine if that valley wasn't there. Then maybe just after a few weeks, I'm back to my old ways. Why? There wasn't something strong enough to destroy my pride and cause me to bend my knees, with all humility asking His help, His wisdom, and His strength to face it. Maybe everything just easily went back to normal. Now I can finally testify how He an He alone can keep the change... That's what I call "permanent change", unlike being just "sorrowful but no change". Many things in my life now are made new as a result of it, from the things I listen, I read, I view, my thoughts, and more especially, my focus--they all pertain to Him. His goodness, His faithfulness, His grace, His mercy, His love. And because of that valley, those things even just started to echo louder and louder in my head. They are like giant waves I want to plunge and be immersed in. I want to be immersed in everything He is. Let tears of joy refresh the once dry and weary soul of mine. This has become my prayer. "Lord, continue to draw me nearer and nearer, each and everyday. Make me see Your purpose behind everything that happens in my life. Immerse me in everything You are, from Your Word, Your promises, Your greatness, Your forgiveness, Your Love. Lord keep me in this way, Your way, Your will. Continue to change me into the person You want me to be."