Youth Camp 2012: A 2-week journey of the different facets of my life.
In 8 days, it will be finally a month since Youth Camp 2012 started, and now, having been able to settle down a bit, I guess it's just timely for me to write my "say" on this year's camp. The memories are still fresh, and it just bring reminiscence to the heart whenever I think of it.
Well, obviously, this year's camp has been a peculiar one to me and my churchmates, mostly because we're the host this year. But to me personally, I never realized that this year's camp would be unique to me in many, many ways. It proved how God could make "seemingly impossible" things possible, and how incapable are we as humans compared to Him, being the only Almighty One.
Permanent change. Is it possible? With Him, it is. I came to camp, with never-ending sighs that signified weariness, due to the tiresome, mundane routine of my life lately. I came to camp, with a desire to somehow make a tremendous change for the better, a change that would NOT only last for two-three months. However I was scared though, cause deep inside I somehow told myself that if ever I'm going to make a decision in camp, it might not last AGAIN. Nevertheless, God was gracious, as He has always been. At the second night of college camp, He told me that my belief of being unable to keep the change was all along RIGHT. Yes, I CAN'T KEEP IT. But He also told me that it is possible to have that permanent change after all, only IF I would trust, depend, and rely on Him, and not myself, to KEEP that CHANGE. How true it is. After all, "we can't change ourselves by ourselves. Maybe we can, but it won't last a long time. Only He can change us permanently", even eternally when we accepted and received His gift of salvation through Christ. If in and of ourselves, we can't have eternal life, doesn't it just make sense as well to think, that in and of ourselves, we can't have permanent change? It also takes faith to put our trust wholly in God, believing that He'll be able to keep what He has promised in us. What a blessing was it for me to realize that. This gave me "a peace in my heart that the world never gave; a peace they cannot take away", as well as victory only through Him.
But OH! The enemy still did not retreat. I knew he wouldn't. Just a few days after the day I made that decision for Christ, the enemy immediately attacked, trying to test the change He has made in my life. Being in the "mountaintop", I immediately saw the "valley" coming before me. Whether it's the test of pressure, temptation, anger, grudge, I knew the enemy was simply trying to test the extent of my dependency on Him. This was were I always used to fail. When I stopped waiting and trusting on God, and tried to do things my own. Now I know where I started to fail, and so the more I bent my knees and sought God to take charge of these testings. Yes, it wasn't easy. Yes, it brought hurt, as the enemy tried to put false accusations on others' minds about me after I had turned my back on him; yes, it brought pain and anguish to me as I stumbled somehow after I see people who used to be my "friends" turned their backs on me; yes, it brought tears to my eyes, and sadness to my face, as I was somehow disappointed with how my life turned out to be after making that decision...but then I sought God, and He answered me, and yes, those testings just drew me nearer and close to Him. My intimate relationship with Him wasn't only brought back at camp, it also REMAINED AFTER camp, even until this very moment. That is why it brings joy in my heart whenever I think of it. I'm so glad He kept me from falling harder, and it's only by His grace that kept me from totally stumbling. He gave me the strength to RISE AGAIN, now as a stronger child of God, ready to face the enemy's test of "dependency and consistency". It was much like a "blessing-in-disguise", or a blessing that I hadn't learned to appreciate its beauty not until then. Through those testings, I've also come to know which friends are REAL, which friends AREN'T. I've also learned that at the end of the day, after God, you could only run to your parents and church leaders next. I've also realized that I should be disillusioned. We sometimes are carried away by what the majority says, and NOT the TRUTH of the matter, and that's WRONG. I've learned that sometimes, the people we used to neglect are the ones who are sincere, the ones who are genuine enough to help you in the faith. I thank God for opening my eyes to know who are they. We might be few, we might be called the "minority", but God doesn't need a lot of men, He only needs those who are TRULY WILLING, AVAILABLE, having HUMBLE, SUBMISSIVE HEARTS. I was humbled as well, and until now, I am constantly being humbled as well as overwhelmed by all of these, and I just thank Him for that.
It's proven. With God's grace and strength, a valley has been overcome so far. I still hope for more and more valleys to be conquered as we run this race that He has set before us, and I know He'll still be able to keep me from falling hard. Falling, yes, is necessary, but I know He'll always be there, able to give me the strength to rise again.
Well, obviously, this year's camp has been a peculiar one to me and my churchmates, mostly because we're the host this year. But to me personally, I never realized that this year's camp would be unique to me in many, many ways. It proved how God could make "seemingly impossible" things possible, and how incapable are we as humans compared to Him, being the only Almighty One.
Permanent change. Is it possible? With Him, it is. I came to camp, with never-ending sighs that signified weariness, due to the tiresome, mundane routine of my life lately. I came to camp, with a desire to somehow make a tremendous change for the better, a change that would NOT only last for two-three months. However I was scared though, cause deep inside I somehow told myself that if ever I'm going to make a decision in camp, it might not last AGAIN. Nevertheless, God was gracious, as He has always been. At the second night of college camp, He told me that my belief of being unable to keep the change was all along RIGHT. Yes, I CAN'T KEEP IT. But He also told me that it is possible to have that permanent change after all, only IF I would trust, depend, and rely on Him, and not myself, to KEEP that CHANGE. How true it is. After all, "we can't change ourselves by ourselves. Maybe we can, but it won't last a long time. Only He can change us permanently", even eternally when we accepted and received His gift of salvation through Christ. If in and of ourselves, we can't have eternal life, doesn't it just make sense as well to think, that in and of ourselves, we can't have permanent change? It also takes faith to put our trust wholly in God, believing that He'll be able to keep what He has promised in us. What a blessing was it for me to realize that. This gave me "a peace in my heart that the world never gave; a peace they cannot take away", as well as victory only through Him.
But OH! The enemy still did not retreat. I knew he wouldn't. Just a few days after the day I made that decision for Christ, the enemy immediately attacked, trying to test the change He has made in my life. Being in the "mountaintop", I immediately saw the "valley" coming before me. Whether it's the test of pressure, temptation, anger, grudge, I knew the enemy was simply trying to test the extent of my dependency on Him. This was were I always used to fail. When I stopped waiting and trusting on God, and tried to do things my own. Now I know where I started to fail, and so the more I bent my knees and sought God to take charge of these testings. Yes, it wasn't easy. Yes, it brought hurt, as the enemy tried to put false accusations on others' minds about me after I had turned my back on him; yes, it brought pain and anguish to me as I stumbled somehow after I see people who used to be my "friends" turned their backs on me; yes, it brought tears to my eyes, and sadness to my face, as I was somehow disappointed with how my life turned out to be after making that decision...but then I sought God, and He answered me, and yes, those testings just drew me nearer and close to Him. My intimate relationship with Him wasn't only brought back at camp, it also REMAINED AFTER camp, even until this very moment. That is why it brings joy in my heart whenever I think of it. I'm so glad He kept me from falling harder, and it's only by His grace that kept me from totally stumbling. He gave me the strength to RISE AGAIN, now as a stronger child of God, ready to face the enemy's test of "dependency and consistency". It was much like a "blessing-in-disguise", or a blessing that I hadn't learned to appreciate its beauty not until then. Through those testings, I've also come to know which friends are REAL, which friends AREN'T. I've also learned that at the end of the day, after God, you could only run to your parents and church leaders next. I've also realized that I should be disillusioned. We sometimes are carried away by what the majority says, and NOT the TRUTH of the matter, and that's WRONG. I've learned that sometimes, the people we used to neglect are the ones who are sincere, the ones who are genuine enough to help you in the faith. I thank God for opening my eyes to know who are they. We might be few, we might be called the "minority", but God doesn't need a lot of men, He only needs those who are TRULY WILLING, AVAILABLE, having HUMBLE, SUBMISSIVE HEARTS. I was humbled as well, and until now, I am constantly being humbled as well as overwhelmed by all of these, and I just thank Him for that.
It's proven. With God's grace and strength, a valley has been overcome so far. I still hope for more and more valleys to be conquered as we run this race that He has set before us, and I know He'll still be able to keep me from falling hard. Falling, yes, is necessary, but I know He'll always be there, able to give me the strength to rise again.
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